Are you really there?

I recently took the week off before school started to spend with my daughter, we call it "Best Week with Mom (Ever)." 

Towards the end of the week, she said "you've hardly spent time with me." I took a pause because I had been with her more that week than any other week since Spring Break. 

I realized then I had spent time with her but it wasn't quality time. I was distracted and not fully present. And she noticed!

Then a client shared a similar experience with her family. 

We're trying to hard to be everything to everyone, only to end up feeling drained and many times disconnected. 

It's so ironic, isn't it?

We work hard to be available to our kids, our partners, our families, and in doing so, we end up neglecting ourselves. 

How often do you find yourself postponing your own needs because you're focused on making others happy or meeting their expectations?

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of “I need to do this because everyone expects it,” but you either feel stretched thin or resentful because they don't notice all of the hard work you've put in. You sort of wish for accolades but know they won't come, so why expect them? 

The truth is, you might have been physically present, but if you weren’t fully engaged, it’s the same as being absent.

Does this sound familiar?

It might be time to reflect on where you’re putting off your own needs to take care of others.

Consider these questions:

How often do you do things simply because they’re expected of you, even if they don’t align with what you truly want?

What would change if you started prioritizing my own needs and desires?

What would happen if you said "no" when others are expecting you to say "yes"?

Take some time to either jot down your thoughts about these questions. Or contemplate them on a walk. (I hope the weather is as beautiful for you as it is for us here in Kansas.) 

They can give you insights and show you where you need to shift from a place of constant giving to a more balanced state where you can truly show up for yourself and others.

It’s amazing how much clarity can come from a simple pause.

Remember, taking care of yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s essential. The analogy of the oxygen mask is overused and also a great example. 

By taking care of you, you'll have more to give and also others will notice you being fully present, which in turn makes you feel more fulfilled.