Looking for a boost in self-confidence?

Exactly a year from when I burned out, I started my coaching training. I started my journey excited and as we did the personal work, I dug in deep. Confronting my limiting beliefs, working to detach from identities, particularly those I strongly associated with, such as being a "good mother." This journey uncovered my fears of being an inadequate mother due to my path to parenthood being through adoption.

I was excited about the journey ahead, but my self-confidence was still lacking. I believed in my abilities, and yet I struggled when it was my turn to coach my peers. I would freeze and my inner critic would creep in, making me doubt my myself and question why anyone would want me as their coach?

I did some deep self-reflection work with my inner critic. My inner critic is a smart cookie, she simmers under the surface waiting for the perfect time to give her opinion. She was working hard to protect me from jumping into the unknown and wanted to keep me safe.

With time, practice, and encouragement, I found my footing in coaching and truly enjoyed it. The feedback from my friends and peers shifted my perspective. Their recognition validated what I sensed was emerging within myself.

Confidence comprises four elements – competence, self-trust, self-worth, and courage. Throughout my training, I wasn't just building competence, I was strengthening my self-trust by achieving goals and honoring my agreements. And my self-worth shifted. I saw that I didn’t need external validation as much as I once did.

In my coaching work, I use a self-assessment tool for clients to track their own confidence and self-trust. It's helpful to notice how it shifts over time through the months, the weather, and as you shift things in your life. 

This is why I love Human Design; it shows us how you’re designed to make the most aligned decisions by truly listening to your body and intuition, which enhances your self-confidence.

This aspect of your design is your authority, and we can work to help you learn to trust your authority for making more aligned choices in your life. Have you ever found yourself committing to something, only to regret it a few days later? Acting too quickly for your authority may lead to second-guessing and regret, therefore diminishing your self-trust and courage in making decisions that feel the most confident.

Trusting yourself helps build your confidence and your courage. Rebuilding self-trust can be challenging, if you're used to prioritizing others over yourself and engaging in people-pleasing behaviors that leave you feeling depleted.

It's essential to prioritize yourself, and by setting clear boundaries and sticking to your agreements. You’ll learn to say no, especially if you’re used to always saying yes. It’s difficult at first when others are used to your saying yes. Each time you say no, it builds your confidence, self-trust, and creates space for opportunities that truly align with your true desires.